The World Of Soul
Rifk
Kindness, friendliness, gentleness
Prophet Mohammed (let peace and Allah’s blessing be upon him) said:
“Verily, the Most High likes [to see in people] the manifestation of kindness (friendliness, gentleness) in all their deeds";[1]
“Allah, He Who is the Most High, is kind to people [He sends them relief and ease, He does not impose on them more than they can bear]. And He likes when people treat each other in a kind and friendly manner. If they manifest such feature as Rifk (kindness, friendliness, gentleness) Allah gives to people [in this world – success and so on, and in the hereafter – indescribable heavenly goods], whereas He does not give them anything if they manifest towards each other ‘Unf [strictness, severity, austerity; violence]".[2] Allah bestows on the person, who possesses the first virtue, great riches and opportunities, as well as His blessing and heavenly goods both in this world and in the hereafter.
Allah’s Messenger (let peace and Allah’s blessing be upon him) emphasized:
“Those who lack kindness (friendliness), deprive themselves of God’s blessing";[3]
“When someone has kindness, it becomes beautiful, but when he lacks kindness, it looks ugly and shameful";[4]
“Keep closer to kindness (friendliness, mildness, tenderness, indulgence) and stay away from rudeness (severity, hard-heartedness, using sharp words and resorting to violence) and a bad behaviour (indecency, shamelessness)".[5]
The companions of Prophet Mohammed emphasized: : The Prophet has never shown rudeness (bad behaviour, either in words or in deeds)".[6]
Here is one of the prayers of the Prophet (let peace and Allah’s blessing be upon him), which he sent up to God, praying for his followers: : O, Allah, if somebody has even a little power over my followers (Muslims) and if he creates obstacles in their path, treat him in the same way. But if he is kind and friendly towards them, bestow on him Your mercy and blessing".[7] Amen.
Once the second pious caliph ‘Umar ibn al-Hattaba received a complaint against some of his subordinates, the heads of local regions and departments. He invited them to his palace. When they arrived, he stood in a place where usually stood while addressing his people and subordinates and worshipping the Creator he said: : O, people! We (your governors) have commitments to you. Among these commitments are kindness, friendliness and helpfulness! O, imams! You have your obligations to people! You must know that such qualities as patience of the governor and his friendliness are the features that are the noblest in Allah’s sight. Whereas the ignorance of the imam and his mistakes and misdeeds (such as unjustified expenses, exceeding one’s authority, the abuse of power and corruption) are most hated by Allah. He who is indulgent to his subordinates, will be treated in the same way by other people (on the mercy of the Creator)".[8]
‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Aziz, the great grand-son of the second pious caliph ‘Umar ibn al-Hattab[9], said: : It is reported that ‘Amru ibn al-‘As wrote a letter to Mu’awiy, where he blamed him for sluggishness. The latter (Mu’awiy) answered to him: : The ability to understand what is good is an important part of wisdom. A wise man does not hurry. One should never lose patience and self-control. He who acts confidently (prudently, after checking everything), usually achieves success. Haste may result in mistakes. He who does not proceed from kindness and friendliness, can suffer great damage from his stupidity. He who does not learn from the experience of the past, does not improve himself". These words are very useful, but how difficult they are to fulfil in practice! Man can not do without the blessing and the help from the Most High.
Muslim scholars have noted: : What can be better than faith complemented with knowledge? It is even better if knowledge is improved by good deeds. It is even greater when deeds and actions are accompanied by kindness and friendliness".
It is important to note that apart from the ayah and Hadith that are mainly concerned with self-improvement and the manifestation of self-control and steadfastness during armed conflicts (not criminal attacks which are severely punished in Islam, but military actions on the battlefield), there are also many ayah and statements of Prophet Mohammed (let peace and Allah’s blessing be upon him) that underline the significance of kindness, generosity and a good behaviour towards other people whoever they may be (and this principle of humanism was implemented even in armed conflicts and wars, which has always been the typical feature of Muslim soldiers). The Qur’an reads the following on the subject: : Allah does not forbid you to be kind and equitable to those who have neither made war on your religion nor driven you from your homes".[10] Thus, only these two categories of people are not worth being treated kindly and gently for they have committed crimes and resorted to violence. As far as others are concerned whatever convictions and views they may have, no matter whether they are good or bad, we must treat them with respect, if we consider ourselves to be loyal servants of the Most High (and not of our vices). Thus we shall see our true nature. We shall see whether our souls are full of cruelty and impudence, embellished with famous quotations and beautiful words, or may be a small ray of faith elucidates us from inside, helping us to distinguish between evil and good.
Unfortunately, the essence of human vices is so that man notices other people’s mistakes and wrong views or deeds, but he appears to be unable to identify these demerits in himself. Whereas he himself refers only to those ayah and Hadith that deal with high morale and generosity. Moreover, he is convinced that people around should treat him proceeding only from these statements.
A true believer always controls himself and never tries to show any rudeness, bad manners or lack of restraint. Thus, he simply has no time to critisize others.
A righteous person follows the precepts of the last Messanger of the Creator. He does not only read wise admonitions of the Prophet, he also tries to preserve them in his heart and to use them in practice.
Resumé: The great imam al-Ghazali said: : The importance of such quality as kindness is emphasized in many Hadith. It was to cultivate this quality that many Muslim theologians have always called upon, for humans tend to resort mostly to haste and rudeness when resolving their problems. Whereas kindness and gentleness, as a rule, turn out to lead to better results.
Sometimes showing ‘Unf (strictness, severity, rudeness and strength) appears to be more appropriate, but this is a rare case.
A perfect man is he who is able to decide by means of his insight where it would be better to resort to kindness and mildness, and where – to show severity, energy and adherence to principles".[11]
[1] Hadith from ‘Aisha; the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari. See: Al-‘Askalani A. Fath al-bari bu sharh sahih al-bukhari [The help of the Creator (for man in the understanding of the new) through the comment on the ahadith collection of al-Bukhari]:
18 volumes, Beirut: al-Fiqr, 1996, the 12th volume, p. 64, hadith ¹ 6024.
[2] Hadith from Abu Hurayra, from ‘Ali ibn Talib and so on; the holy ahadith from Ahmad, al-Bukhari (al-adab al-mufrad), Ibn Madj, Abu-Daud, at-Tabarani and so on. See, for example: As-Suyuty Dj. Al-djami’ as-sagyr [A concise volume]. Beirut: al-Kutub al-‘ilmiya, 1990, p. 109, hadith ¹1743, “hassan”; an-Nawawi Y. Sahih muslim bi sharh an-nawawi [The ahadith collection of imam Muslim with the comment of imam an-Nawawi]: 10 volumes, Beirut: al-Kalam, 1987, the 8th volume, p. 383, hadith ¹ 77-(2593); al-Kari ‘A. Mirkat al-mafatih sharh mishkat al-massabih: 11 volumes, Beirut: al-Fiqr, 1992, the 8th volume, p. 797, hadith ¹ 5067; al-Amir ‘Alaud-din al-Farissi. Al-ihsan fi takrib sahih ibn habban [A noble deed in approaching (to the reader) the ahadith collection of Ibn Habban]: 18 volumes, Beirut: ar-Rissala, 1991, the 2nd volume, p. 309, hadith ¹ 549, “sahih”, as well as hadith ¹ 552, “sahih”; al-Benna A. (known as as-Sa’ati). Al-Fath ar-rabbani li tartib musnad al-imam ahmad ibn hanbal ash-shaybani [God’s help in the regulating of the ahadith collection of Ahmad ibn Hanbal ash-Shaybani]: 12 volumes, 24 parts, Beirut: Ih’ya at-turas al-‘arabi, the 10th volume, part 19, p. 83, 84, hadith ¹ 40.
[3] Hadith from Djarir; the holy ahadith from Muslim, Ahmad, al-Bukhari (al-adab al-mufrad), Abu Daud, Ibn Madj, at-Tabarani and so on. See, for example: An-Nawawi Y. Sahih muslim bi sharh an-nawawi. The 8th vpolume, p. 381, 382, hadith ¹ 74-(2592); al-Amir ‘Alaud-din al-Farissi. Al-ihsan fi takrib sahih ibn habban. The 2nd volume, p.308, hadith ¹ 548, “sahih”; al-Benna A. (known as as-Sa’ati). Al-fath ar-rabbani li tartib musnad al-imam ahmad ibn hanbal ash-shaybani. The 10th volume, part 19, p. 84.
[4] Hadith from ‘Aisha; the holy ahadith from Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Daud, al-Bukhari (al-adab al-mufrad) and others. See, for example: an-Nawawi Y. Sahih muslim bi sharh an-nawawi. The 8th volume, p. 383, hadith ¹ 78-(2594); al-Amir ‘Alaud-din al-Farissi. Al-ihsan fi takrib sahih ibn habban. The 2nd volume, p 310, 311, hadith ¹ 550, “sahih”; al-Benna A. (known as as-Sa’ati). Al-fath ar-rabbani li tartib musnad al-imam ahmad ibn hanbal ash-shaybani. The 10th volume, part 19, p. 84.
[5] See, for example: As-Suyuty Dj. Al-djami’ as-sagyr. P. 340, hadith ¹ 5504, “sahih”.
[6] Hadith from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr; the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari. See: Al-‘Askalani A. Fath al-bari bi sharh sahih al-bukhari [The help of the Creator (for man in the understanding of the new) through the comment on the hadith collection of al-Bukhari]: 18 volumes, Beirut: al-Fiqr, 1996, the 12th volume, p. 67, hadith ¹ 6029.
[7] Hadith from ‘Aisha; the holy ahadith from Ahmad, Muslim, al-Bayhaqy and so on. See, for example: Al-Amir ‘Alaud-din al-Farissi. Al-ihsan fi takrib sahih ibn habban. The 2nd volume, p. 313, hadith ¹ 553, “sahih”.
[8] See: Al-Ghazali M. (450-505 A.H.) Ih’ya ‘ulum ad-din [The revival of the sciences on faith]: 6 volumes: Nahr an-nil, the 3rd volume, p. 175.
[9] For more information about these two prominent people of Islamic history see: Alautdinov S. The answers to your questions about Islam. P. 99-102.
[10] See: The Holy Qur’an, 60: 8.
For more detail see: Alautdinov S. The way to faith and perfection, the 3rd edition, p. 371.
[11] See: Al-Ghazali M. (450-505 A.H.). Ih’ya ‘ulum ad-din. The 3rd volume, p. 176.
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