Fatwa

On the consummation of marriage

 In Allah’s name, His mercy is infinite and eternal! Hoping on the Single God, the Posessor of true knowledge and wisdom, I pray to Him for strength and skills to express a humble judgment that would correspond to the truth of God’s Word, and not to the temporal knowledge of this age.  

 According to the Holy Qur’an the marriage between man and woman is one of the most important God’s commandments.

   “Allah has given you wives from among yourselves, and through them He has granted you sons and grandsons. He has provided you with good things”,- reads the Holy Qur’an (the Holy Qur’an, 16:72).

   “By another sign He gave you wives from among yourselves, that you might live in joy with them, and planted love and kindness in your hearts. Surely there are signs in this for thinking men” (the Holy Qur’an, 30:21).

  Having authorized marriage between man and woman Allah, He is Wise and Just, established a special order of the consummation of marriage.

Requirements to meet before the consummation of marriage

According to the norms of Shariat and Islamic tradition a young man, who intends to enter into marriage, should meet the following requirements which anticipate the marriage:

-   pay attention to a girl without her knowledge;

-   if he likes her, he should talk to her in a public place;

-   make sure beforehand that there are no obstacles to a marriage that are stipulated by Islamic law (for example, blood or foster relationship);

-  if she matches him in her world view and values, he should hint her at his intention to marry her;

-  if the girl accepts the proposal, a young man should talk to her parents (or tutor) in order to receive their consent;

-   arrange match-making and engagement after receiving the absolute consent on the part of the girl and her parents (or tutor);

-   agree on the date of the marriage.

As one of the first steps to the marriage a young man should express his wish to the chosen one in an open or veiled form. In case of mutual consent to marriage it is necessary to arrange match-making and engagement.

   Engagement is the act of the public promise of both sides to enter into marriage. Yet it does not grant future spouses any additional right besides their right to associate with each other in the presence of their parents and relatives or in a public place. The majority of theologians hold that during and after engagement the young man is allowed to look only at those parts of the girl’s body that are not ‘aurah (i.e. only at her face and hands).[1] It is strongly prohibited to kiss or embrace each other, for before the marriage man and woman are still alien to each other.

   Islamic theologians are unanimous in the opinion that if there is an obvious consent to marriage on the part of the girl, no other man may propose to her. It is canonically prohibited. But in case if there is no obvious consent to marriage on the part of the girl another man is allowed to woo her.[2] 

   According to a hadith man “... has no right to an engagement against the engagement of his brother except for in case if he rejected [the engagement] or by his consent” (hadith from Abu Hurayra and Ibn ‘Umar; the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari, Muslim and Ahmad).[3]

   There is nothing wrong if several young men have proposed to a girl being unaware of each other’s intentions.

Requirements and recommendations to the moral make-up of future spouses

 It is necessary to pay special attention to the physical state, moral values and material welfare of a future wife or a prospect husband. And yet one of the most significant virtues of the future spouse is spiritual and religious knowledge and piety. “Take in marriage those from among you who are single and those... who are honest. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His own abundance” (the Holy Qur’an, 24:32).

   Prophet Muhammad (may Allah greet and bless him) said:”Men! May those from among you who can afford marriage, marry. And those of you who cannot afford it, should fast”.[4] Islamic theologians believe that under “afford” a physical and moral health, moral maturity, material prosperity and wide religious knowledge as the basic principles of family life are implied.[5] Let us adduce another saying of God’s last Apostle Muhammad (may Allah greet and bless him):”Choose your future wife according to four criteria: material welfare, good breeding [first of all towards the husband and his relatives], beauty and piety. And pay great attention to her piety” (hadith from Abu Hurayra; adduced in all the six books of authentic ahadith as well as in the holy ahadith from Ahmad).[6]

   In another hadith Prophet Muhammad (may Allah greet and bless him) warns:”Do not marry a girl only because of her beauty, for it can spoil her; do not marry a girl only because of her wealth, for it can make her disobedient. You should marry a girl because of her piety!”[7] (hadith from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar; the holy ahadith from Ibn Madj, al-Barraz, al-Bayhaqy).[8] Thus, one of the most significant factors predisposing man to such a crucial decision as marriage should be the piety of the future spouse and not her beauty or wealth.

 “Prophet Muhammad was once asked:”What woman is the best woman [for marriage]?” He answered:”The woman at whose sight her husband smiles, who obeys him in request or order. And if he treats something negatively, she does not approve of it either”[9] (hadith from Abu Hurayra; the holy ahadith from an-Nassai, Ahmad).[10]

   The two main goals that are pursued in the choice of the future wife are as follows: 1) so that she would bring happiness and peace; 2) so that she would be able to foster in future children high moral values, religious piety and God-fear.

   Proceeding from Islamic norms one should seek the following qualities in the future wife:

-    piety;

-    the ability to give birth to more than one-two children;[11]

-    virginity;

-    a noble origin (belongness to a family known for its piety and obedience);[12]

-    beauty;

-    the farthest remoteness of blood relationship.

Moreover one should proceed from the fact that the future wife is to become the only one. For otherwise it is highly probable that the husband will not manage to fulfill one of the most important qur’anic commandments – treat all his wives with fairness. The Holy Qur’an reads:”...then you may marry other women who seem good to you: two, tree or four of them. But if you fear that you cannot maintain equality among them, marry one only...” (the Holy Qur’an, 4:3). But knowing His creation and wishing him good in both worlds the Lord says:”Try as you may, you cannot treat all your wives impartially” (the Holy Qur’an, 4:129). A hadith also contains a warning:”He who will have two wives and will not treat both of them impartially, will draw the second part of his body behind him on the Day of Judgment”[13] (hadith from Abu Hurayra; is contained in the four out of the six ahadith collections and in the holy ahadith from Ahmad).[14]

   According to the norms of the Islamic marriage law the monogamic marriage is the most appropriate form of family relations that complies with the Islamic understanding of God-fear and chastity. A marriage with two, three or four women is rather a canonical exception which is indulgently admitted by the Islamic marriage law but which is conditioned by a number of relevant circumstances. Shariat does not call for polygamy and does not consider it as obligatory.

   Proceeding from the basic principles of Islamic law (fiqh) and relying on the historical tradition lawyers (fakihs) have laid down the conditions for the consummation of a new marriage. They are as follows:

-   barrenness or the inability of the first wife to child-bearing;

-   the conditions of a war or postwar period when unmarried women or widows (who stand in need of family, care and support) outnumber men.

-   Physiological peculiarities of a man that are expressed in an surplus sexual activity (on the condition that he can maintain two (or more) families), which may cause adultery, the greatest sin before God and family.[15]

Canonical conditions for marriage

1. Lack of close relations or any other obstacles to marriage.

 An obstacle to marriage can be proved by the reasons both of a (1) permanent and (2) temporary character.

  The first group comprises blood relations between two persons being descendants of one forefather, regardless of whether these relations took place in a legal marriage or out of it. Thus, the bride may not be a sister, paternal or maternal aunt etc. to her fiancé.

  The second group of obstacles includes the reasons of a temporary character: the bride may not be the sister of another wife of the fiancé, the wife of another man, or a woman who is in the after divorce period (3 months) or in mourning for her late husband (4 months and 10 days). If a woman, who divorced or became a widow after her husband’s death, is pregnant, the period during which she may not enter into marriage, ends at the birth of her child, regardless of whether it will be one day or eight months.

   The Holy Qur’an reads:”...you shall not marry the women who were married to your fathers. That was an evil practice, indecent and abominable.

   You are forbidden to take in marriage your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal and maternal aunts, the daughters of your brothers and sisters, your foster-mothers, your foster sisters, the mothers of your wives, your step-daughters who are in your charge, born of the wives with whom you have lain (it is no offence for you to marry your step-daughters if you have not consummated your marriage with their mothers), and the wives of your own begotten sons. Henceforth you are also forbidden to take in marriage two sisters at one and the same time. Allah is forgiving and merciful. You are also forbidden to take in marriage married women...All women other than these are lawful to you...”[16] (the Holy Qur’an, 4:22 -24).[17]

If man and woman married each other without waiting for the expiration of the waiting period or neglecting the permanent ban, their marriage is unlawful and sinful before the Lord. In this case the marriage should be annulled and the bride can keep the mahr[18]. If the mahr had not yet been given to the bride, the fiancé must give it to her. In this situation the value of the mahr should be equal to the value set at the wedding ceremony. If it has not been stipulated before, the value of the mahr should account for the standard value of the mahr which is usually paid to the bride. The woman should also stay unmarried during the waiting period (three months). During this period she has no right to marry again. The child of this marriage takes the family name of the father. By such an unlawful marriage the spouses may not take part in sharing the heritage which they could receive in case of the lawfulness of their marriage.[19] 

2. The future marriage mustn’t be limited in time

If the duration of the marriage is discussed and stipulated, such marriage is canonically unlawful.[20] And the intimate relations between the spouses are regarded as adultery in this case. This opinion is shared by all faqihs of the Sunnit school of thought and several faqyhs of the Shi’it school.

   From among the scholars of the Shafi’it school of thought the temporary marriage (mut’a)[21] is authorized only by the followers of the ja’fari (imamit) mazhab.[22] The opinion of the imamits on this issue cannot be acknowledged, for their concept of the temporal marriage contradicts the Holy Qur’an and the Prophet’s Sunna which imposes an absolute (till the Day of Judgement) ban on the temporal marriage.[23]

3. The presence of the witnesses at the wedding ceremony.

Islamic theologians are unanimous in the opinion that in order that a marriage should be lawful the presence of at least two witnesses apart from the tutor is necessary.[24]This condition is based on the following saying of the Prophet transmitted by ‘Aisha (may the Lord be pleased with her):”A marriage will not be consummated in any other way except for in the presence of the tutor and two witnesses” (the holy ahadith from al-Bayhaqy, Ibn Habban and ad-Dara Qutni).[25] Ibn ‘Abbas transmits the following words of Prophet Muhammad (may the Lord greet and bless him):”Reprobate are those women who enter into marriage without announcing it [i.e. without the consent of the tutor and without the participance of witnesses]” (the holy ahadith from at-Tirmizhi; the authenticity of the hadith was confirmed only by ‘Abdul-A’lya).[26]

Requirements to the witnesses:

1. A common sense. Various forms of mental diseases, temporal disorder (alcohol and drug misuse) make it impossible for a man to take part at the wedding ceremony as a witness.

2. Ripeness. According to Islam ripeness starts as soon as a teenager reaches puberty.

3. The minimum number of the witnesses is two people.

4. The witnesses should be men. This statement reflects the opinion of the majority of scholars except for the hanafits who believe that one man and two women can also play the role of witnesses.

5. Chastity and fairness of the witnesses. They should observe religious practice and keep astray from dissolution and lack of faith. The scholars of the hanafit school of thought affirm, however, that “obvious chastity and fairness are not the obligatory virtues of the witness”.

6. The witnesses should be Muslims. All Islamic theologians insist on this condition and regard it as obligatory. Whereas the theologians of the hanafit school of thought think that in case if the bride belongs to the people of the Scriptures (i.e. to Christians and Israelites) the role of the witnesses can be played by the people of the Scriptures as well.

7. The witnesses should have the ability to see. Shafi’it theologians pay special attention to this point and believe that the witnesses should see the whole ceremony. Whereas the rest of scholars have mentioned only the ability to hear as necessary.

8. The witnesses should understand the language in which the wedding ceremony is performed.[27]

4. The mutual consent and the right to a free choice of the bridegroom and the bride.

The voluntary and unanimous consent of both parties to enter into marriage is one of the basic principles of the Islamic religious law on marriage and of the tradition of the Muslim marriage institution as well as an indisputable prophetic commandment.

   A marriage where a groom or a bride becomes the object of constraint is canonically unlawful. Prophet Muhammad (may the Lord greet and bless him) said:”My umma will not be judged for the deeds that were performed out of mistake [for unpremeditated actions], for the deeds performed out of absent-mindedness and for the deeds performed under constraint” (hadith from Ibn ‘Abbas and Sawban; the holy ahadith from Ibn Madj, al-Bayhaqy, at-Tabarani and others).[28]

   ‘Aisha, one of the Prophet’s wives (may Allah be pleased with her) said:”Once a girl came to us and complained about her father, who wanted to marry her to her cousin. Whereas she did not consent to it. I told her to enter the house and wait for the Prophet. After coming home he (may Allah greet and bless him) listened to the girl carefully and then ordered to call her father. The Prophet told him that the girl was granted the right to choose her future husband. On hearing it the girl exclaimed:”I agree with my father’s wish and I won’t act against his will! I only wanted to show to all girls that their fathers do not possess the absolute right to command their lives!” (the holy ahadith from an-Nassai).[29]

5. The public announcement of the marriage.

At the wedding ceremony the bridegroom and the bride should be singled out from those present either by means of pointing at them or by means of mentioning their names. After the wedding ceremony it is necessary to announce the news to all relatives, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, etc. The hadith reads as follows:”A border line between the lawfulness and unlawfulness of a marriage is the announcement [about it]” (hadith from ‘Aisha; the holy ahadith from an-Nassai).[30]

6. The bridegroom, the bride and the tutor of the bride should not be in the state of ihram[31] (during hadj or ‘umra).

A hadith from ‘Usman adduced in the ahadith collection of imam Muslim reads as follows:”He who is in the state of ihram may not marry himself or marry somebody off”. Yet, according to the hanafits “this condition is not the condition of the canonical lawfulness of the marriage. He who wears ihram may both enter into marriage and marry somebody off. The following hadith narrated by Ibn ‘Abbas can serve as an evidence for the lawfulness of this postulate:”Prophet Muhammad married Maymuna when he was in the state of ihram” (the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari and Muslim).

   It is assumed that the first opinion is closer to truth for imam Muslim in his ahadith collection adduces three ahadith from Maymuna which say that the Prophet had already come out of ihram by the time of the marriage. As far as the hadith from Ibn ‘Abbas is concerned the word “muhrim”, which is used in the text, can imply the fact that the Prophet was in that time on the territory of al-Haram[32] or the fact that the marriage was consummated during one of the prohibited months.[33]

7. The necessity of the payment of mahr (a wedding gift).

Mahr is a precious wedding gift from the bridegroom to the bride which is given at the wedding ceremony or after a certain period of time (the value of which is fixed by the parties beforehand). Mahr is the property of the wife and she can reserve it for herself in case of the divorce applied for by the husband or in case of his death. Any valuable object, movable or real property (money, gold, jewelry, a house, cattle, a car, etc.) that have a specific value, can serve as mahr.[34]

  The value of the mahr (minimum – 10 dirham[35], maximum is unlimited according to all theologians[36]. But it is advisable that the maximum value of the mahr accounts for no more than 500 dirham[37], i.e. 1500 gr of silver or the monetary equivalent of the sum) is discussed by the parties and is fixed in the marriage certificate.

  Those cases when the father or relatives of the wife keep the mahr for themselves contradict Islamic laws. Such practice was widely spread among Arabs in pre-islamic times when woman has no appropriate rights and freedoms.[38]

   Many theologians believe that although mahr is important it is not an indispensable condition of the marriage; it is by no means a condition without the discussion of which the marriage is regarded as unlawful. Even if both parties have not discussed the value of the mahr beforehand, the marriage is possible and lawful. But at the end of the wedding ceremony the husband is automatically charged with the committment of paying mahr. The value and form of the mahr in such cases are fixed in accordance with the local tradition.[39]

 8. The lack of a secret collusion between the bridegroom and the witnesses on the concealment and non-announcement of the marriage.

The theologians of the malikit school of thought state that in case if there is a secret agreement between the bridegroom and the witnesses on the concealment of the marriage from the relatives of the first wife or for any other reason the marriage is not lawful.

   The theologians of other schools of thought do not agree with the opinion and state that such condition does not contradict the canonical lawfulness of the marriage. The presence of two witnesses and the tutor is sufficient for the consummation of a lawful marriage.[40]

9. The lack of any deadly disease.[41]

This condition is obligatory only according to the malikit school of thought.

10. The presence of a tutor on the part of the bride.

This condition is strictly imposed by the scholars of all schools of thought except for the hanafits. As an argument a well-known hadith is usually adduced:”There is no marriage except for in the presence of the tutor” (hadith from Abu Mussa, al-Asgh’ari; adduced in the four out of the six collections of authentic ahadith as well as in the holy ahadith from Ahmad; a number of scholars regard the hadith as authentic, whereas some scholars don’t).[42]

   One of the wives of the Prophet ‘Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) adduces his words:”If a woman marries without her tutor’s consent, her marriage is not lawful. If she had intimate relations in this marriage, her husband must pay her the mahr. If there was a quarrel (misunderstanding) the governor plays the role of the tutor of those who do not have a tutor” (the hadith is adduced in the three out of the six collections of authentic ahadith as well as in the holy ahadith from Ahmad; many scholars have confirmed the authenticity of this hadith).[43]

   Another hadith reads as follows:”A woman does not marry another woman off and does not marry herself off either” (hadith from Abu Hurayra; the holy ahadith from Ibn Madj and ad-Dara Qutni).[44]

   Proceeding from these two ahadith and referring to some other arguments the vast majority of Islamic theologians state:”A marriage is not lawful without the consent and presence of the tutor”.

   Whereas the thologians of the hanafit school of thought think that a free, adult girl or woman of common sense may marry without her tutor’s consent or presence.

   Imams Abu Hanifa and Abu Yusuf regard the presence of the tutor at the wedding ceremony as advisable. Imam Muhammad ash-Shaybani said that a marriage without the tutor was admitted, but his consent, however, was necessary for the further lawfulness of the marriage.

   As arguments justifying their statement the theologians of the hanafit school of thought adduce the following ayat where not a tutor but a woman plays the main role at the wedding ceremony:

-    “If a man divorces his wife, he cannot remarry her until she has wedded another man...” (the Holy Qur’an, 2:230);

-     “When you have renounced your wives and they have reached the end of their waiting period, either retain them in honour or let them go with kindness” (the Holy Qur’an, 2:232);

-     “When they have reached the end of their waiting period, it shall be no offence for you to let them do whatever they choose for themselves, provided that it is decent” (the Holy Qur’an, 2:234).

We know the following hadith, transmitted by Ibn ‘Abbas:”A widow has more rights than her tutor when she marries. One always asks a virgin’s consent to marriage. Silence can be regarded as the virgin’s consent to marriage” (the holy ahadith from Muslim).[45]

   Another hadith narrated by Abu Hurayra and adduced in the ahadith collections of al-Bukhari and Muslim reads as follows:”A widow is not married off until she gives her consent. A virgin is not married off, until she grants her consent to marriage. Her consent is silence”.[46] Silence, which is mentioned in the hadith, is not the only form of the consent on the part of a virgin. She can give her consent to a marriage either through silence or through a word. Silence is simply the symbol of modesty and meekness typical of pious women.

   Abu Sawr, one of the theologians of the shafi’it school of thought, made his personal judgment on the issue of the tutor’s consent and presence at the wedding ceremony. His opinion has become “a golden mean” on the matter:”Both the consent on the part of a girl or a woman and that of her tutor are required for marriage. The wedding ceremony can be conducted by either of them, provided both of them have given their consent to marriage. In case if either of them has not given consent to marriage, the marriage is not lawful for woman in Islam has full rights”.[47] 

It is advisable to take the following measures at the wedding ceremony:

 1. Deliver a wedding sermon.

The wedding sermon is preached by the imam of a mosque (or by a qadi) who conducts the marriage ceremony. Although the sermon should be delivered by the bridegroom as well, it is reasonable, proceeding from Russian realia, that the sermon, just as the marriage ceremony itself be performed by a person who has a religious education (an imam, a qadi or a mufti).

   The marriage sermon is begun with proclaiming the Lord, pronouncing the shahada (the Testimony of faith in the Single God and the prophetic mission of Prophet Muhammad) and reading an ayah calling for God-fear. If the marriage sermon is not delivered it does not influence the correspondence of the order of the ceremony to canonical laws. But this fact hinders to a certain extent the completeness and perfection of the whole ceremony.[48]

The approximate order of the marriage sermon is as follows:

Sending up a du’a-prayer:”Al-hamdu lil-lahi nahmaduhu wa nasta’inuh, wa na’uuzu bil-lahi min shuruuri anfussina wa sayiaati a’maalina. Man yahdihil-lahu falyaa mudylla lyah, wa man yudlil falyaa haadiya lah. Wa ashhadu alla illaha llahu wa anna muhammadan ‘abduhu wa rasuulyuh”.

   The Lord of the world, He who created everything on earth in couples addresses us in the Last Scripture:”Men! Have fear of your Lord, He created you from a single soul. From that soul He created its mate, and through them He bestrewed the earth with countless men and women...” (the Holy Qur’an, 4:1).

   Further on follows a personal comment on the significance of God-fear especially in the relations between husband and wife.

   The Holy Qur’an also reads:”Take in marriage those among you who are single and those... who are honest. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His own abundance” (the Holy Qur’an, 24:32).

   God’s last Apostle Prophet Muhammad (may the Lord greet and bless him) used to say:”He upon whom the Lord will bestow a pious wife, will receive a help from God in acquiring the half of faith. May this man not forget to show God-fear in the second half [of his faith]” (an authentic hadith from Anas; the holy ahadith from al-Hakim);[49]

   “Each of you is responsible for his government: an imam governs those who stand behind him and is responsible for them; a husband is the head of the family and he is responsible for it; a wife is responsible for comfort and warmth in the house and she will answer for it... everyone of you is a governor and will report on what he governs” (an authentic hadith from Ibn ‘Umar; the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad, etc.).[50]

   When concluding the sermon it is necessary to reiterate everything that has been said and emphasize the significance of God-fear, loyalty, mutual understanding and persistence in the religious practice in family relations.

2. Send up a du’a-prayer on the unity and future overall welfare of the family.

Abu Hurayra transmits:”When the Prophet congratulated the newly-weds upon their marriage, he said:”Baarakyal-lahu lak’, wa baarakyal-laahu ‘alayk’, wa djama’a baynakumma fii hayr” (“May the Lord bestow on you barakat (welfare) in everything and unite you in good”) (an authentic hadith from the holy ahadith from Abu Daud, at-Tirmizhi and Ibn Madj).

  One can also read the following du’a:

“Allahumma, idj’al haazan-hikaaha maymuunan mubaarakya. Wa allif baynahumaa kymaa allafta bayna aadama wa hawwa, wa allif baynahumaa kyamaa allafta bayna muhammadin wa hadidjatal-kubra. Allahumma, a’tyhim awlyaadan saalihiin wa rizkan waasi’an wa ‘umran tawyylya. Allahumma, baarikil fiihim wa baarik’ ‘alyayhim wa baarik’ fi kulli tasarrufaatihim wa a’maalihim wa amwaalihim, anta ‘alyaa kulli shayin kadiir”.

   Here is the translation of the prayer:

“Allah! Bless this marriage and make it a happy marriage. Unite their hearts just as you had united the hearts of Adam and Eve, of Prophet Muhammad and his wife Hadidja. Allah! Bestow on them pious and good children, welfare in abundance and a long life. Allah! Give them welfare in everything. Bless them in their deeds and riches. For everything is in Your power!”

3. Conduct the marriage ceremony on Friday before the sunset.

It is advisable to conduct the wedding ceremony during the period between the third prayer (“’Asr”) and the fourth prayer (“Magrib”). A hadith on the subject reads as follows:”Perform the marriage ceremony in the evening! Verily, it is better for barakat” (hadith from Abu Hurayra; the holy ahadith from Abu Hafs). As far as Friday is concerned, this day is a blessed holiday. Moreover on Friday there is an hour when all (du’a) prayers are accepted.[51]

 4. Mention the wedding present.

It is strongly advisable to mention the wedding gift at the wedding ceremony. Moreover, one should not simply mention the fact of its existence, but its specific content as well. The bridegroom should present the wedding gift (mahr) to his bride on the spot. The value of the mahr can be fixed in the marriage certificate which is given by the person registering the marriage (by an imam, a qadi, a mufti).

5. Invite guests to the marriage.

When God’s Apostle Muhammad (may the Lord greet and bless him) got to know that ‘Abdurrahman ibn ‘Awf had entered into marriage, he said:”Arrange a supper and entertain your guests at least at one sheep” (hadith from Anas; the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari and Muslim).[52]

   The majority of theologians believe that a wedding supper is an obligatory sunna (sunna muakkyada), i.e. that it is strongly advisable, whereas some scholars, for example, imams ash-Shafi’i and Malik insisted that it was obligatory (wadjib).[53]

  The guests invited to a marriage should not forget the following ahadith:

-“He who was invited to a marriage and did not come, is disobedient both to the Lord and to His Apostle” (hadith from Abu Hurayra; the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari and Muslim);

-“He who was invited to a wedding ceremony must come” (hadith from Ibn ‘Umar; the holy ahadith from al-Bukhari and Muslim);

-“He who was invited to a marriage must come regardless of whether he will eat or he won’t” (hadith from Djabir; the holy ahadith from Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Daud and Ibn Madj).[54]

   And yet all scholars emphasize that if something prohibited (alcohol misuse) takes place at the marriage and the guest cannot change the situation, his presence at such marriage is inadmissible. This opinion is based on Ibn ‘Umar’s words adduced in the ahadith collection of Abu Daud, which read that “Prophet Muhammad (may Allah greet and bless him) prohibited to sit at the table where there were alcohol drinks”.[55]

6. Send up a prayer.

The Prophet said:”May those from among you, who enter into marriage, say:”Allaahumma innii as’alyuka hayrahaa wa hayra maa djabaltahaa ‘alayhi wa a’uuzu bukya min sharrihaa wa sharri maa djabaltahaa ‘alayh’”.

Here follows the translation:

“Allah, I pray to You for welfare from her [the bride] and the welfare that You created her for. I beg You for a protection against evil from her and the evil that might have been laid in her at her birth”.

Rights and duties of the spouses after the wedding ceremony[56]

 1. Observing the Islamic norms of family life established in the Holy Qur’an and the Sunna, strengthening love and mutual understanding, the right understanding and observation by the spouses of their rights and duties. The Prophet underlined:”The best one from among you is he who treats his wife in the best way”.[57]

2. Financial support for the wife on the part of the husband. This concerns nutrition, clothes and housing. If the wife constantly shows disobedience[58] without any reason the husband can cut off financial support.

3. The prohibition for the wife to marry her husband’s relatives and the prohibition for the husband to marry his wife’s relatives.

4. The obligatory payment of the mahr that was mentioned at the wedding ceremony.

5. Observing the canonical inheritance order established in the Holy Qur’an.[59]

6. Keeping the family register in father’s line.

7. The wife has no right to leave the house without her husband’s consent (going shopping and alike stands to reason).

8. The bans in the intimate relations between husband and wife deal only with sexual intercourse during menstruation, during the post pregnancy period[60], in the state of ihram (the state of ritual purity during pilgrimage), as well as anal sexual intercourse.[61] The rest (time, form and regularity) is left to the discretion and mutual consent of the spouses.

   These are the most general norms of the Islamic wedding law. They are based on the Divine Revelation – the Holy Qur’an, the Sunna of Prophet Muhammad (may Allah greet and bless him) and the theological heritage of prominent scholars following the path of Truth.

I beg God, He is the Compassionate and the Merciful, to accept this work which has been  produced only with the hope for His kindness and forgive me my probable mistakes and sins, for the only intention I had was to bring good to people who follow His path, He is worshipped by everyone and everything that is in heaven and on earth.

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